Boxed in

In the routine of life, day in and day out and when the need comes to step out, it is when you realize you are boxed in. The many layers that has been built around you. sharp corners and edges that does not even give a smooth side to slip out. You are hit by the wall, stuck on all sides. Is there a way out?

Betrayal

The stabbing ache on my heart stings even though I try to close my eyes and wander off into thoughts. Never did I imagine I could be stabbed by the people I trusted and not just one. They did not realize I was almost dead but they continued. Ignorance!!

Stuck


A phase where everything is going fine. Calms water, perfect weather. Picture perfect!! The boat was gliding down the waters he and she were in control of the boat. Their rows were in sync. The girls chirpy and bubbly. She closed her eyes and thanked God. As she got lost in thoughts with eyes closed, she did not notice a storm had built. As she felt some waves and by the time she realized, the boat went uncontrollable in the storm. They are now stuck far from the land, in between a storm. She is already drowning, trying to keep her head above. Not sure if they are going to survive the storm, drown or get drifted to the land........

The Routine...

He was out shopping. It is couple days before he gets to leave again. She is sitting on the couch wondering how things are going to go as he leaves, should she talk but is that going to even help anything.. Everything is gotten so busy as it is the night before he leaves. Kids want to play with him and hang out as much. She wants to freeze this moment. There were many times she wanted to freeze the moments where life felt more complete. At this point, she feels there is just like a thin thread holding them which might even break any moment may be this is the last few straws..

She tossed and turned and could not sleep well and woke up way early with thoughts going on in her mind. She is just restless. how long is this going to go on. Will it ever get better..

Early in the morning, he had packed up and bringing down the bags, she was pacing up and down. Kids still sleeping. They had already said their goodbyes the night before as he did not want to see them say good bye with tears when he leaves. As he put his last suitcase down, he looked at her and said, "Ok see you then" she tried to look away as he walked towards her opening his arms and gave her a tights hug. She stood numb and did not move other than shaking her head, he embraced her twice and walked away.

As he got into the car and drove, she felt a lump go down her throat. She just wanted to scream and cry but just couple tears rolled down her cheeks. There was so much she wanted to say, wanted things back to normal but it seems everything is crumbling in front of her.

Does he realize everytime he leaves, she feels she looses a piece of her, her strength, her joy and smile drifting far from her as emptiness engulfs her. it takes few days to pull things over and get back to the normal mundane.. Now this has become  a routine....

Thought of the Day!!

Behind every successful and achieving person is a person who looses everything and themselves!!

Face the-Irony Book

Facebook has brought us close yet so far. We like to sit and watch what is going on on the others world from where we are lazying. We prefer to watch than talk! Next, we hit 'like' on somebody's pic even if we do not care about it just because we want them to 'like' something we post on our wall. Then we start counting how many 'likes' we have received and feel good as the count goes higher. It gets irritating when people actually call you and ask why we have not 'liked; something they have posted. You might have missed it if you were busy and not logged into the book of face which actually means you have been sane for a day. You are lucky if your 'friend' actually asked you, there are times you get a silent treatment because you missed to add a 'like'! Another thing, When I signed in initially on Facebook I was so excited searching and finding my old school friends. Little later as I was getting used to the trend I noticed it was out of excitement, I added all these friends but not sure if I or they want to be mutual 'real' friends. Many are out there on my list are my stranger friends whom there is nothing common to share other than we shared a classroom at one time. There were few instances, I got requests from my old school mates whom I did not want to stay in touch at all. Well I still accepted them as I was on excitement phase. Now I realize I know more about these stranger friends whom I did not want to get in touch. Due to constant post of these friends on my wall about their day to day activities and their kids activities, I know about their kids more than my cousins whom I grew up and love to share more time with. Unfortunately,some of my cousins do not want to accept the Facebook world so it is difficult for me keep in track of their life and kids but it bugs me that the names of people I do not want to remember is stuck on my head and keeps twirling around. Yes I know I have to pick up the phone and call them regularly but I am beginning to realize that I learn better by seeing that hearing :) Isn't that the irony!!

Seasons

We do not realize that there are seasons in everyones life. Yes we go through different seasons and we keep learning through our journey. We are babies and learn to adapt ourselves in this world. We are sent to school, we get through toddler, teens, youth and then adult, senior. Every phase we think is the toughest cux we have not stepped on to the next season but little we realize that we are prepared in the pre-season for the next. My current season of being a mom of two who are in their prime age of ten and eight has it joy and challenges. There are days I have a feeling of accomplishment and there are days I wish I had done better.

As I get through each day, I train myself like I am I have to get ready for a battlefield. It has helped me, I have had good days and I have had not so good days that I learn from. I can do all this only through the one who strengthens me everyday!

I have learnt, we can get up when we fall, dust ourselves and move on! We will get through this season, ready to learn in the new season.