Boxed in

In the routine of life, day in and day out and when the need comes to step out, it is when you realize you are boxed in. The many layers that has been built around you. sharp corners and edges that does not even give a smooth side to slip out. You are hit by the wall, stuck on all sides. Is there a way out?

Face the-Irony Book

Facebook has brought us close yet so far. We like to sit and watch what is going on on the others world from where we are lazying. We prefer to watch than talk! Next, we hit 'like' on somebody's pic even if we do not care about it just because we want them to 'like' something we post on our wall. Then we start counting how many 'likes' we have received and feel good as the count goes higher. It gets irritating when people actually call you and ask why we have not 'liked; something they have posted. You might have missed it if you were busy and not logged into the book of face which actually means you have been sane for a day. You are lucky if your 'friend' actually asked you, there are times you get a silent treatment because you missed to add a 'like'! Another thing, When I signed in initially on Facebook I was so excited searching and finding my old school friends. Little later as I was getting used to the trend I noticed it was out of excitement, I added all these friends but not sure if I or they want to be mutual 'real' friends. Many are out there on my list are my stranger friends whom there is nothing common to share other than we shared a classroom at one time. There were few instances, I got requests from my old school mates whom I did not want to stay in touch at all. Well I still accepted them as I was on excitement phase. Now I realize I know more about these stranger friends whom I did not want to get in touch. Due to constant post of these friends on my wall about their day to day activities and their kids activities, I know about their kids more than my cousins whom I grew up and love to share more time with. Unfortunately,some of my cousins do not want to accept the Facebook world so it is difficult for me keep in track of their life and kids but it bugs me that the names of people I do not want to remember is stuck on my head and keeps twirling around. Yes I know I have to pick up the phone and call them regularly but I am beginning to realize that I learn better by seeing that hearing :) Isn't that the irony!!

Seasons

We do not realize that there are seasons in everyones life. Yes we go through different seasons and we keep learning through our journey. We are babies and learn to adapt ourselves in this world. We are sent to school, we get through toddler, teens, youth and then adult, senior. Every phase we think is the toughest cux we have not stepped on to the next season but little we realize that we are prepared in the pre-season for the next. My current season of being a mom of two who are in their prime age of ten and eight has it joy and challenges. There are days I have a feeling of accomplishment and there are days I wish I had done better.

As I get through each day, I train myself like I am I have to get ready for a battlefield. It has helped me, I have had good days and I have had not so good days that I learn from. I can do all this only through the one who strengthens me everyday!

I have learnt, we can get up when we fall, dust ourselves and move on! We will get through this season, ready to learn in the new season. 

You and Me

You are me and I am you..
These were words and these were promises..
You are me and I am you..
Down the road you and me..
Hand in hand as we walked..
Lost ourselves and kept going
Suddenly I look around missing something
You stole yourself from me..
And walked away with you... and me..
I am lost searching for you and me..
Still cannot find me or you.....

It's like walking around with a knife pierced in your heart..
Yes it is your heart that is pierced 
which you have not realized it yet
Cux I took the pain as part of you got left behind me...

Break the Rutt

This was our first long drive just as a family. A visit to New York city.  Atleast two days before the drive, my head was spinning just thinking about it, thinking of the rush in NY not sure how the vacation was going to be. If it was the right choice. As we began driving, the drive was not that bad, we were entering Pensylvannia during the night and could see the mountanious Silhouette, I decided the drive back should be during the day. We reached New York middle of the night after meeting our cousins over. I just fell in love with the crowd, people walking all over aimlessly looking around. Men in their suits at 1 AM in the morning. street mongers, cyclysts. I can just keep going on and on.  The drive back was so refreshing, driving through the mountains was a treat. I was engrossed in my own world and enjoyed driving. I loved something about New York, not sure if it is the crowd, not sure if it is away from my work(abandoned my laptop this trip) but I just loved being away from the day to day routine. May be thats what it is! A break from the daily rutt even though you get to the busiest spot for vacation.

Solitary

My mom lives in Brampton and it is about less than 4 hour drive from my home. As I am driving, I come across these new wind mills near Chanttam that have been coming up recently. The green fields and the windmill always take me into a different world for a few minutes. Every trip I look forward to get carried away, there were couple instance I have come late night and missed seeing them but try to stare at them in the dark, where their red lights keep blinking in the dark.

So Majestic yet so feeble
Stading out there lonely in the field day and night
You just give in... just let the wind lead you in its course
You let the wind lead you, just so you can generate power

Generate power for others to benefit.
You amaze me!

In a pit

Have you thought how it would feel if you were in a sinking ship? Helpless you just look around, and there is nothing more to do other than fight with your might until you lose your strength and give up. It is the same when you lose someone close to you all of a sudden. My dad... He left me all of a sudden, never expected that I would lose him so soon. Oct 15 2010 is going to be engraved in my heart. When he was around he was a part of my busy life just keeping up with how he is doing. You only realize certain things when the person leaves you . There are many stages of grievance one goes through. Shock, Anger, helplessness and then accepting the fact and moving on. Losing a parent or spouse is a great loss. Whatever the loss is, you have to tread through the pain feel it, understand it for the pain to wear off..